Die Bedeutung des Heimwehs

Oh man. Am I ever starting to understand the true meaning of homesickness. It is so strange really, truly being stuck in a foreign country with people who only sort of understand English. Yes, most people can speak English, but what you are not told is that most people understand and can speak only functional English... what you want to buy or sell, how much something costs, "How are you?" and "I am _____" (but, please, keep it to simple adjectives).

I've come to realize that I am indeed VERY lucky to have Amanda with me on this trip and to have a friend like the Ginger, who, though he has his con list, like everyone on this green (and red and cramped and crazy) Earth, speaks slowly and really attempts to (or does a great and believable impression of) understanding and relating to what I say, and then who offers the appropriate response.

Here, in Düsseldorf, which is nice and all, but is a large city that doesn't particularly suit me. (Thank you so much, Hamline University, for partnering with Uni Trier and sending me to a beautiful little town that understands internationalism and makes me feel comfortable and at home.) I'm really starting to feel the twangs of homesickness, as previously stated, but not yet to go home and jump back into Hamline classes and American living and all my old haunts. What I am missing is the sense of comfort, of being able to know where I am, how to get around, how to function fully in the location I am. I really miss being able to hear and speak English all around me, to be ale to rant out my feelings fully and obtain an American response of full understanding, whether it be empathy or complete uncaring but still full understanding. I have noticed that I've started tuning out when people speak German too much around me, or too quickly, or are discussing things that I may perhaps even have an interest in but which I cannot follow completely and really can't respond as truly as I feel. I just block it out, zone out, lose myself in whatever English song is playing on the radio.

Additionally, damn you, Germany, for playing American music all the time. Do you realize, Germany, how damned hard it is to concentrate on what someone is saying auf Deutsch when I can just enjoy the English language in the background instead? You realize that you are actually driving me to be annoyed when you, German radio, play a German song that I don't know and can't sing along with?

I am already looking forward to and will feel great relief (hopefully) to go back to Trier, where I have a basic understanding of the system and of my surroundings, where I can wander among traditional, kitschy beauty, and where I can have my Toffifee nights with Amanda and discuss our days and feelings... auf ENGLISH.

For now, I will console myself with CNN International (oh, the horrible accents).

Bis bald!